onemoretime

So, here I am at what feels like the bottom of an insurmountable mountain.  I have conquered this mountain before, only to slide back into old habits, bad behaviors, self-indulgence.  Many promises and false starts in the now 6 years since I last achieved a “bikini ready” body, many harsh words for myself and excuses why not…  But now, I am done with excuses.  I know I deserve to feel better, I am tired of seeing the new lines on the back of my wrists that show I am getting fat on the BACKS OF MY HANDS!  What really knocked this loose was when I got on the scale the other night and it registered a new benchmark for me of 200 lbs.  Not okay.  I am not okay with my future stepsons running circles around me.  I am not okay with feeling sluggish and not good enough… So, today I start… again.  And I am not going to worry about last week or tomorrow.  I will just focus on today, the next bite, the next glass of water, the next flight of stairs I will tackle instead of taking the elevator.  And slowly, one bite at a time, I will take the weight off and I will break my 12 month barrier of being above 190 pounds and I WILL see 189 again.  And then the real adventure starts anew!